It feels like coming home as I write this to you. It’s been a season that has required more of me, with less opportunity to share words and thoughts in this space.
It’s stormy out tonight, but with a warm summer rain and very gentle rolling thunder. The kids and I curled up on a single bed, as soon as the first lightning lit up the room. I was tempted to sing “These are a few of my favourite things”, but decided my vocal ability may not offer the same soothing comfort. We opted for Lauren Daigle instead… good choice, kids!
At the beginning of 2019, I distinctly remember a conversation about our hopes and heart stirrings for the year. I’m sure my aspirations included dark chocolate, seeing our kids mature and overcome their fears, and getting a stand for my hammock.
His words were Grand Canyon deep in comparison…
Sue, I want to learn to be like a kite this year. You know, the way kites move and glide so freely. It’s just reminds me of how it feels when God leads me. He’s the wind in my life, and I want to go wherever His Spirit goes. No questions, no resistance… complete trust and freedom… yep, that’s what I want.
I was slightly surprised and also deeply inspired. If that’s what being a kite means, then I’m all in.
Over the summer, the kids and I choose to sink our teeth into words that will give us life. We read and re-read and talk and memorize and write them in colourful non-permanent markers (hopefully!!) on the walls. It gives us something to focus on. We decided to read words about giving, worrying, investing and praying (Check it out here – Matthew 6).
It’s been cool what has been unfolding. As we’re learning together that life is super super short, and this is just the rehearsal for heaven, it’s changing us. We don’t see things the same way. The kids have started reminding us that our money is not our money. When a lay-off happened at his work place a month ago, it was so strange to not feel immediate worry or stress. Peace is relaxing the angst, and there’s this new level of dependency growing… not in our security or status or skills… but in His Goodness and Deep Love for us.
It sure feels like these words carry alot of weight…. it’s risky at times to live this way and even involves suffering.
“You can’t serve both God and money….. Seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be given to you.”
Which kingdom have we been serving ?? Ouch, that’s been a tough one to answer this summer. How have we spent His money and His resources? That was the litmus test for us. We sat around the kitchen table and asked each other “ How do we begin to live differently?” To prioritize the poor and to make prayer not just a ritual but a way of life. Will we ever kick our addiction to worry??
The first step was to let go of the thought that we own our stuff and that we provide for ourselves.
Sounds crazy, but living in dependence week by week has actually felt freeing. We’re both now self-employed and we’re figuring out a new flexible rhythm to family life. We celebrate at the dinner table, each sale or new project that comes, giving thanks along with the potatoes! I guess we’re seeing more clearly that what we achieve here on earth, looks a whole lot different from heaven’s perspective.
Look forward to sharing more as we learn how to fly high and trust the wind!!
With a grateful heart,