Laundry piled up higher than a Dairy Queen ice cream sundae, dishes still waiting to be done, little hands pulling on my pant leg for one more story, hubby eager for some “us time”. It’s in those weeks where it feels there’s not quite enough of me to go around. This nagging question starts to surface deep within…. What matters most? When it’s all said and done – the house quiet, thoughts heard almost audibly through the silence – which piece of the pie carries the most weight in the heaven-lies?
I feel like I’m more well qualified for the circus than ever before! An advanced juggler of schedules, meal plans, bedtimes, birthdays and housework – with the occasional ring of fire to jump through. Only so many things able to fly through the air at once though, the extras fumbled and hitting the ground with disappointment and despair. Can I ever keep them all going flawlessly? Maintain the life balance I so long for – what I envy in other women who seem to have it all together?
Plans buzz around the kitchen table of games, prizes and food to celebrate 5 years of life. A little boy never so happy to invite new found friends to the carnival party and embrace a new chapter with joy. Old enough to play on the Senior Kindergarten playground at last! To capture that winsome way and infuse my every day with it – a true gift. To let go of the details and embrace the people that makes every moment matter. He sees beyond the To-Do’s – right to the To-Be’s. I have much to learn.
To find solace tonight, I go straight to the Gift Giver Himself. He sees me. He knows me. He made me. Who better to ask. His answer to pie is not what I expect though.
“Who can climb Mount God?
Who can scale the holy north-face?
Only the clean-handed,
Only the pure-hearted;
Men who won’t cheat,
Women who won’t seduce.
God is at their side;
with God’s help they make it.
This, Jacob, is what happens
to God-seekers, God-questers.” (Psalm 24, The Message)
That’s really what this life journey is. Climbing up up up toward Mount God each day. A feat that feels near impossible at times, and exhilarating at others. The only requirements that carry any weight – clean hands and a pure heart.
Clean hands? No problem! Soap flows in abundance here. With a toddler on the loose, it feels like most of the day is spent in hand washing. A pure heart on the other hand – not quite so easy to achieve. I imagine this picture of inner and outer guiltless living. A life marked by generosity, integrity and strength of character. Not for the world to notice and applaud, but simply as an act of humble worship. Purity with the desire to delight the heart of God.
“You’re blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.” (Matthew 5:8, The Message)
Hands – a vital part of everyday living, capable of both good and evil. Heart – a lifeline to the soul, to reflect the motives and deepest intentions. How in the world to achieve both of these at the same time I wonder.
“With God’s help they make it.”
With God’s help I learn to weigh my days differently. With God’s help the ascent up is filled with more joy. With God’s help I am less dependent of me and my abilities. With God’s help I see the things that matter most. It’s no longer me giving away pieces of the pie. Feeling more and more depleted each time. Now there is a limitless amount of energy, strength and time available from Him. He is the pie so to speak. There’s enough pie for everyone!
Thank God for His grace to catch the things I drop daily and to restore my hands and hearts when they fall short of clean and pure. With God’s help… what matter most is that He matters most.
By Sue Broshear